Soften the rigid lines of expectation and achievement
Restoring, preserving, and enhancing our being.
The French doors in my house open into a garden courtyard. The right door is used the most. The left door is stiff and creaky. Rarely used, it groans open for cleaning days or joyous gatherings.
The right door echoes the confidence of seasoned skills and practiced knowledge. It’s that comfortable and familiar place. Unfortunately, it also represents the standards, expectations and achievement that I set for myself. It comes with a strong dash of perfectionism, and it's missing something…..ah, that’s it, softness and self-compassion.
The right door is the “doing” me and the left door feels like the “being” me. My auto-pilot way is “doing”, task-based, to-do lists, creating, achieving. Too often we associate our value to “doing”.
The left door demands a good push to open, a little WD40 to loosen the hinges. It is the part of me that has taken a bit of loosening up; plenty of self-care, rest, creativity, and inner growth.
Both "doing" and "being" are important and healthy parts of living. Ideally, we find a balance between them, knowing when to be active and productive and when to be present and receptive.
As individuals, we embody a spectrum of energies regardless of our gender. Our lives and workplaces should value and encourage a diverse range of energies. That's not always the case. "Doing" is valued more in our achievement-oriented culture. Society and many workplaces expect us to be more assertive, confident and competitive. Perfection pressures us to abandon softness, authenticity, vulnerability, and open hearts. The key lies in balance. Grace and acceptance over chasing goals or striving for mastery and growth.
What do you need to loosen your left door?
What do you need to restore, preserve, and enhance your being?
Can we carry many possibilities in our minds at once?
How might we weave old stories, complexities and mindsets with new ones?
How can we navigate the future we want to see, in ourselves?
How do we create better organisations we work in or communities we volunteer in?
Lots of questions to reflect on! Enjoy the climb, not just the summit.
Balance Affirmation: Right now I’m slowing down to be present. This is a journey not a destination. I am pausing for a deep inhale and a slow exhale.
Movement to re-balance: Put your phone down, but before you do, find your favourite dance tune, turn it up loud and dance around the room.
Journaling prompt: How can I be more present today? Where can I “be” and not “do”?