Is communication your secret weapon at work, or your biggest weakness?
Have you ever been stuck in an endless email chain with no end in sight? Are your chat messages necessary and useful or annoying and distracting? What if you brought more awareness to this. Notice how you communicate and how others communicate with you. Maybe it needs some love and attention, maybe it doesn’t.
How we communicate with others is a reflection of how we communicate with ourselves.
Let’s start there!
Taking note of your self-talk is an interesting exercise. Sometimes I berate myself for not getting something finished. Burdened by guilt for not being focused enough or creative enough. Struggling with not being fast enough or clear enough, in my thoughts and in my words.
The truth is that sometimes my brain gets tired. I may have had a productive day previously that definitely makes up for it. I’m being hard on myself and not showing myself enough compassion or love.
If we change the stories, we can change our inner dialogue. Treating our inner selves with kindness spills over, enriching our interactions with others. Oprah writes about treating ourselves well as the first step to real fulfilment.
If we start practicing some small self-love changes, how can we take that into our workplace?
The first step is noticing what your work love language looks and sounds like. I've been paying attention to workplace communication on recent work projects. I noticed some things that I'd like to share. These feel like some simple things we are all mastering but don't pay attention to them.
Spreading positivity in the lift/hall/stairwell with a friendly smile, eye contact, and a cheerful greeting.
Asking how everyone is doing - check-ins are so important.
Giving someone a high-five, pat on the back, fist bump, a warm handshake, jazz hands clapping. What about a warm handshake - has this practice become contentious post-covid?
Making a cup of tea or coffee is a love-ly gesture.
Sending a chat message to acknowledge something unique that someone did or said in a meeting.
Asking if anyone needs help with anything, rather than pretending we are always busy all the time.
Offering a skill to your workplace. In the past, I offered “Breathe and Reflect” sessions for the design team at Justice Digital. It was a virtual space for people to do some breathing exercises and reflective writing.
Are you a “feeder”, the cake person? Your love language might be baking and bringing in goodies for your colleagues.
Sending a gift or a card or even better, a letter to a colleague.
Making time for your work colleagues to find out about the person behind the role.
Sharing memes, gifs, or work appropriate jokes!
Are these all acts of kindness or ways of expressing love? It's both. We don’t always think of the term “love” outside of our relationships, family and friendships. Why not! Love is more inclusive than romantic feelings. It is “A deep caring for the existence of another”.
Contrary to this, we all do things that are not loving. Every time you send a lengthy email, someone on the other end has to read it! Is it necessary? There is a better way to communicate the thing. Foster conscious, concise communication: Think before sending. Design for better impact. What about voice notes; it’s a love/hate thing. It’s always worth asking your colleagues how they like to receive communication. Cassie Robinson’s User Manual for Me is popular in many teams that I’ve worked with.
In the coming days and weeks, take note - what are the ways you communicate with people in your work environment? What is your workplace love language?
How do you and your colleagues acknowledge each other's work?
How does your organisation reward being over doing?
How do you thank someone that’s done a great job or helped you out with something?
How do you serve others; offers of help or support?
Are you present when your colleague needs a minor whinge ? What if they need to express how they are feeling? Do you tune in or brush it off?
What about when your inbox is having a quieter period? Do you help out a colleague who feels overloaded?